Kissed my shadows and became the sun
The 78 cards of a tarot deck represent “The Fools Journey”, and if this set of cards didn’t take me on a god damn trip. I started this set early in April, after writing in my notes app: “moon cards could be fun for Artemis II moon joy!?” Naive! Tarot cards that are associated with the moon require heavy emotional lifting.
I put this down for a full month and a half, blatantly ignoring it whenever my fingers twitched to finish it. It felt like too much inner-work to reflect with these cards after what felt like a relentless four years of constant reflection asking myself “why am I like this?” and finding my way back to me. I thought I had already done the work. I was wrong.
I guess scabs are meant to be picked, because the sick ghoul inside in me chose to pick it back up on a balcony in Nice. Me, the waxing moon, and a bottle of rosé as a salve for when the work became too much to bear. It had been over a decade since I fell in love with the city of Nice, and as I pick through the timeline of my life deciphering what was “me” and what was for others, coming home from Nice was not the first, but probably the most notable, time I abandoned myself and what my selfish shadow desired. Why, in all places and of all times, did my gut tell me that this was the right time to actually think about what I’ve done? And then I had to set it down again. And again, and again, and again, until now. I got so resentful of those versions of me who was only doing the best she could with the knowledge she had.
This is what I enjoy about learning tarot, they’re not the universe speaking to you. They’re tools to get the universe that exists within the crevices of your brain to come forward. Sure, they all have some set meaning, but the interpretation is all up to who holds the cards in their hands.
These cards will lead you to joy eventually, when you can integrate both the light and dark parts of yourself. But the self-discovery that they require of you to get there is mucky and sticky. When you get past the illusions, cages, and inherited beliefs your mind creates, what will you find is illuminated in the dark? Your shadow self, the one you reject but needs the most love, is waiting to work with you. And she’s likely pissed you’ve made her sit alone for so long.
Alright. Let’s take a giant exhale, and get this shit over with.
🪷 The Moon: This card makes me uncomfortable, this font makes me uncomfortable. Portal is a mind fuck of a font, like the card it represents I can’t decide if I love it or hate it. Those mystical beings on the bowls… why are you like that? It also has to be fucking gigantic to be legible. I hope the moon card and portal are happy together because this one annoyed me and I know they are feeling so smug about that.
🐎 The Chariot: Using a font named Quick feels a bit on the nose. However, the Chariot is a “get the hard shit done, especially when it’s hard, but also when the shit is hard to discern” card. The card guides you to remain clear and focused, even when the path is winding turns and detours. A slightly quirky sans serif to keep your focus, but be ready for the unexpected.
🐣 The Star: This card appears immediately after the trauma of the Tower card, and it is meant to represent hope, healing, and the recognition of the power within you. Huova has cutie arches reminiscent of shooting stars and simply works for the uplifting energy of this card.
🩻 The Hermit: When you shuffle the deck and the Hermit pops out, you can go ahead and take that as a sign to recluse. It’s time to go inward and seek the knowledge that comes from within. I just imagine this card sitting at a typewriter, letting inner-thoughts flow and then producing a thought-provoking substack blog that calls others to go within. Hence, Essay 1743.
⛓️ The Devil: When the Devil appears, it’s a call to confront the chains that bind you, and to take accountability for our addictions and material pleasures. Are you using them to numb, avoid, or replace real fulfillment? The Devil is calling you to take stock, before you become slave to them. I don’t know, I feel like the Devil would be good at tagging, and Owned is his signature MO.
🫙 Seven of Cups: The Seven of Cups represents the imaginative and dreamy nature of the moon. It can also mean you’re stuck in wishful thinking and lack clarity. Your emotions may be foggy, and decision making can be difficult. It encourages you to stay grounded in reality and focus on what matters, rather than getting lost in fantasy. The Overthinkers is a font that links whimsy with reality.
🌪️ King of Swords: It’s a reach, but if the Moon is illusion, the King of Swords is clarity. If he shows up in the reverse, he’s inviting you to reflect on your emotional state. Where are you carrying doubt or letting emotions get the best of you? King of Swords doesn’t fuck around, neither does Perandory.
🕯️ The High Priestess: She’s directly linked with the Moon, though I’ve already talked about her elsewhere. She’s your intuition and your mysterious subconscious.
Darkness is scary, and finding things in darkness can be even scarier. The Moon and her associated cards require you to sit with your rough edges and either integrate them, or release them so you can grow into who you’re meant to be. 🌑